That hasn't changed today.
It won't ever change.
We have all fallen short of the glory of God and yet, He wants to be in relationship with us.
He wants to use us in his grandeur plan. This often leaves me baffled, especially when I am struggling greatly with insecurities. The truth is that sometimes when I feel the Spirit's nudge of God calling me I find myself lifting up doubts and reluctance instead of praise.
What a tragedy.
Fortunately, there is a story (or a hundred) in the Bible that parallel this experience.
The story of Moses is found in Exodus (the second book in the Bible). Hang with me for a bit, because I need to set up some background just in case you aren't familiar with the story. Moses escaped infant mortality during a time when all of the Hebrew baby boys were being thrown into the Nile due to the Egyptian Pharaoh's orders. Moses' mother was desperate to save him, though, and she hid him until he was three months old. At which point she made a special basket for him and hid him in the reeds of the river. His older sister watched from her hiding place. Pharaoh's daughter found him and pitied him and decided to keep him. The sister came out of hiding and offered to find a woman who could nurse him. (God's grace right there, because his loving mother took on the job!)
When he no longer needed to be nursed he became the son of the princess and was raised in the palace of Egypt.
Exodus 2:11-15
11 One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. 12 Looking this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. 13 The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, “Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?”
14 The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses was afraid and thought, “What I did must have become known.”
15 When Pharaoh heard of this, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in Midian
Moses ended up getting married and having children. Then one day while he was out tending to his flock (Ex. 3:1) he experienced the supernatural when God appeared to him in a fiery bush and commanded him to go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh to Let God's people go! Read about his awesome encounter right now!
Moses has been chosen by God to do something incredible! God wants to use Moses to SET HIS PEOPLE FREE, but Moses doesn't want to do it! Moses is reluctant to do what God has commanded him.
Despite the need...Despite a miraculous sign...
Despite clearly hearing the voice of God...
Despite being commanded to do so...
Despite being chosen...
Moses is reluctant.
Moses is reluctant to obey God. Moses is reluctant to join in on God's mission. Not just one time, but FIVE TIMES Moses comes up with excuses for his reluctance. Despite the fact that God gave Moses exactly what we are always telling God we need from Him in order to obey. You know, things like this:
“God, just show me a sign!”
“Lord, if only I knew it was really
your voice telling me what to do. And if only I had clear instructions.”
“Father,
are you sure you want me to do it?”
So you know what stood out to me in this story? I'm not God's first Moses.
So many of my doubts and questions look a lot like Moses'. Take a closer look with me. Let's break down his five expressions of reluctance right here:
First (Ex. 3:11), Moses questions the calling. “Who am I to go?” (Surely, you’ve never done that when God has
called you.) Moses was questioning God’s choice. God was choosing Moses and
Moses was saying, “You should rethink
that.”
Second (Ex. 3:13), Moses questions the source. Maybe he is just
stalling here, but maybe he also wants to be, like, really sure that it is actually God talking to him and not some
other being who could speak to him out of a fiery bush without letting the bush
burn and then claim that area of ground as holy. Riiiiiight. So he not-so-slyly
says “Okay, well who do I tell the Israelites
sent me when they ask what his name is?”
Third (Ex. 4:1), Moses fears how the Israelites will respond and
doubts God’s sovereignty in the situation. “What
if they don’t believe me or listen to me when I get there?”
Fourth (Ex. 4:10), Moses doubts his own abilities and expresses his
reluctance by saying he isn’t qualified for the job. “I’m not good with words.”
Fifth (Ex. 4:13), Moses practices some blatant reluctance as if God's command is somehow an optional request. “Lord, please send someone
else!”
Are you anything like me? I am so much like Moses, sometimes. How often is it that we say we just need a little more clarity, a little more certainty, a few more answers from God and THEN we can move forward to the land he is calling us to?
But this story isn't just about Moses' reluctance; it is also about God's sovereignty and faithfulness. Take a gander at God's five responses:
To Moses’ Who
am I to go? God assured, “I will be with you.”
To Moses’ doubt about the source of this command, God
guaranteed, “I AM.”
To Moses’ fear of the unknown, God revealed, “I have
the power.”
To Moses’ insecurities God claimed, “The GREAT I AM made you and will do it through you.”
To Moses’ plea for God to choose someone else, God
provided Aaron as a helper and promised his continued provision, “I will help you and teach you.”
Over Moses' greatest fears and doubts God spoke out promise and provision. In spite of Moses' reluctance God pursued him as the one destined for the plan. And God followed through on every. single. word.
You may be like me and find yourself expressing reluctance to obey God--it might be reluctance to give up an area of sin in your life or it might be reluctance to act on a calling He has placed on your heart--you aren't God's first Moses, either.
Which means a couple things:
1. Our poor track records and excuses aren't enough to deter Him from wanting to use us.
2. God will use us to build His kingdom and set people free IF we will obey His call.
God is calling me to something.
He is calling you to something.
I pray and hope that we won't plea to The Father, "Please call someone else!" The loss will be ours.
I want to confess my reluctance to act on God's call and then turn and run wildly and passionately in pursuit of the Promise Land.
I'm not God's first Moses... but I'd like to be his next. :)
